at some stage...

i'll have to tell my family and work, because...:

Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him)said: "The worst people in the
Sight of Allah on the Day of Resurrection will be the double faced
people who appear to some people with one face and to other people
with another face."
Sahih Al Bukhari Volume 008, Book 073, Hadith Number 084 Narrated by
Abu Huraira.

I pray that Allah subhaana wa ta'aala will give me strength

islamic story

Bismillah... There was a pious man among the Banu Israel who always remained busy in the worship of Allah. A group of people came to him and told him that a tribe living nearby worshipped a tree. The news upset him, and with an axe on his shoulder he went to cut down that tree. On the way, Satan met him in the form of an old man and asked him where he was going. He said he was going to cut a particular tree. Satan said, "You have nothing to be concerned with this tree, you better mind your worship and do not give it up for the sake of something that does not concern you." "This is also worship," retorted the worshipper. Then Satan tried to prevent him from cutting the tree, and there followed a fight between the two, in which the worshipper overpowered the Satan. Finding himself completely helpless, Satan begged to be excused, and when the worshipper released him, he again said, "Allah has not made the cutting of this tree obligatory on you. You do not lose anything if you do not cut it. If its cutting were necessary, Allah could have got it done through one of his many Prophets." The worshipper insisted on cutting the tree. There was again a fight between the two and again the worshipper overpowered the Satan. "Well listen," said Satan, "I propose a settlement that will be to your advantage." The worshipper agreed, and Satan said, "You are a poor man, a mere burden on this earth. If you stay away from this act, I will pay you three gold coins everyday. You will daily find them lying under your pillow. By this money you can fulfil your own needs, can oblige your relative, help the needy, and do so many other virtuous things. Cutting the tree will be only one virtue, which will ultimately be of no use because the people will grow another tree." This proposal appealed to the worshipper, and he accepted it. He found the money on two successive days, but on the third day there was nothing. He got enraged, picked up his axe and went to cut the tree. Satan as an old man again met him on the way and asked him where he was going. "To cut the tree," shouted the worshipper. "I will not let you do it," said Satan. A fight took place between the two again but this time Satan had the upper hand and overpowered the worshipper. The latter was surprised at his own defeat, and asked the former the cause of his success. Satan replied, "At first, your anger was purely for earning the pleasure of Allah, and therefore Almighty Allah helped you to overpower me, but now it has been partly for the sake of the gold coins and therefore you lost."
http://www.islamcan.com/islamic-stories/only-for-allah.shtml

Decisions

I can't take decisions, they make me crazy. Today for example, I had not time to bring my own lunch for work, so had to buy one. The only thing that was halal was indonesian instant noodle that I can't eat as I am allergic to MSG. So I had three choices: bacon & cheese scone, nothing, or anaphylactic shock.
hell, hunger, untimely death. What a choice!!!!!

What would you have gone for? In the end, I decided that I was too hungy, I risked the anaphylactic shock. But alhamdullillah, I took my cortisone spray so it wasn't that bad in the end!

First day: